Mixed Messages - Pt 1

“The greatest want of the world is the want of godly men-men who will not be bought
or sold, men who in their inmost souls are true and honest, men who do not fear to
call sin by its right name, men whose conscience is as true to duty as the needle
to the pole, men who will stand for the right though the heavens fall.”
--Johnny Johnson

Lust to Love

I want the future man to be able to understand that there is more to sex then just getting girls and hooking up. I want them to understand that the idea of real love requires a way of living that is open and vulnerable. A lot of people don't talk about that right now. It's about Snapchat, Twitter, Tinder and "hooking up" websites. I want the future man to be able to read this and say, “What if I want to be in a relationship or if I wanted to date somebody? What would that look like?” These type of qualities are very attractive to the opposite person I'm trying to date versus being sneaky, reclusive, or withholding.

Let me share with you an experience I had with a young man who is 15 years old at the gym the other day.  He has a girlfriend and he is a guy that looks up to me. He and his buddy hang on to every word I say. This one particular young man who is 15 years old boastfully told me he has a girlfriend with a huge smile on his face. I asked him, “What are you doing with a girlfriend? You have your whole life ahead of you to experience having a girlfriend.”

He and his buddy began to look at one another shaking their heads back-and-forth while smiling and looking at me as if to say you know I why have a girlfriend. So using my right hand, I shaped my fingers as if I was pointing a gun and I placed my right hand beside my waist as if I were placing my Smith & Wesson six shooter into it’s holster. Then while looking into the eyes of the young man who had the girlfriend I said, “You don't pull this out or make a draw until you have this on your finger” while pointing at my wedding ring. His response and facial expression was one of bewilderment.

“Are you sure?” he asked. I continued, “You don't pull this out” looking at my imaginary Smith & Wesson six shooter, “to just play with. Things happen when you pull this out.”

The young man replied that his brother and his friends told him that he needed to “pull” as many girls as he could before he got married. My rebuttal was “That is the opposite of what you need to do. You are going to have to give an account to your future wife on who you "pulled" and you are going to have to go all the way back to the beginning.”

His smile now turning into a blank stare. He asked me “I can't keep that a secret?” I looked him in the eyes and said “When you go to heaven you are going to have to give an account to God for your actions. The same thing applies to your wife. You don't want to go into marriage with secrets.”


Jonathan Oliver