Mixed Messages Pt 5
To the Little Boy in Me...
I have finally reached a place of knowing I was truly in need of a Savior and it had nothing to do with me being good enough. I had to surrender my old belief system completely. It had failed me over and over again. There is a saying “hurt people, hurt people”, and I have repeatedly hurt people including myself.
Reflections on the importance of community...
I am super excited about my new book that is coming out this spring! It's titled 'To the Little Boy in Me: Learning with Dyslexia and ADHD'. The premise of the book is me writing from where I am currently in life, a co-author of five books and a solo writer of two books previous to this book, to the little boy in me saying, "You're going to be OK. You going to be just fine. Dyslexia is not a curse. ADHD is not a curse. These things are God-given blessings and gifts that add to my life. They complete me as an entire person.”
Last weekend was transformative. I attended an amazing event designed for men...well for Dads! As a stay-at-home Dad, it can sometimes feel lonely. Most stay-at-home parents are Moms, so Dads can feel isolated and looked down upon. There is this unwritten rule that a man is supposed to work and provide for his family financially and the woman is supposed to give up her career and stay home to raise the kids.
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Mixed Messages Pt 4
Vasectomy. Vasectomy. Yeah, I said it. That’s a scary word in a male’s vocabulary. Vasectomy. That’s what’s on the table for me. It’s an easier procedure for me than for my wife to have her tubes tied. Be that as it may, it’s not something that I’m 100% excited about. As a family we sat down and weighed out all of our options and asked the question, “Do we want to have more children?”
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Learning the application of transparency, authenticity, intimacy, accountability, integrity, and vulnerability in relationships and ultimately in my marriage came at a cost. For me that price of admission was pain, loss, suffering, heartfelt sorrow, brokenness, and the death of an image. The words I have just defined do not reflect or describe pornography, lust, sex, or orgasms. The messages that they send are not mixed or confusing; it's simply a message of love and acceptance.
I recently had a conversation with a father when I was walking into King's Kids to pick up my oldest daughter, Journey. He had a look of total exhaustion of on his face. He had dropped his daughter off at school earlier that morning and he was now coming to pick her up. I was in the process of taking Justice out of her carseat and walking in beside him.
I looked at him and said, “This is quite exhausting, isn’t it?” He said, “Yes, it really is.” I said, “I know, I’m a stay-at-home dad and I’ve had a lot of other opportunities in my life do to a lot of other things, including playing college football, and this is the most exhausting thing I’ve done in my life.”
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Mixed Messages Pt 3
Today marks the 5 year anniversary of my first and only marathon so far in life. It was with my bride during Valentine’s weekend in Austin,TX. Here are the words I wrote after the race:
“Setting a goal so high and lofty like we did caused me to break down in tears this afternoon. What we thought was important and what we wanted to accomplish didn’t add up or match to what God knew was entirely different and better. The marathon was a symbol and metaphor of our marriage.
Justice Gets Shots
Growing up as a young boy in my world, I received many mixed messages, and more mixed messages followed. There were some good messages. I saw men provide for their household by working hard, keeping food on the table, the lights on, and clothes on the backs of their children. I heard a lot about going to school and working hard to get a good education. I was told not to have sex before marriage, not to get a girl pregnant, to wear a condom to avoid STDs, and to take care of your responsibilities if you do get a girl pregnant. But sex and sexuality, pornography, and how to have a healthy loving relationship and marriage were not spoken about unfortunately.
Traveling With Kids
Going to the doctor can be an adventure with little ones, especially on days when you know shots are part of the game plan. I like to use these appointments to teach my girls that they don’t have to be afraid of going to the doctor, regardless of the reason for the visit. The less stress I feel, the more confident they will be when they have to face some of life’s little discomforts.
Click here to read the entire article on TulsaKids.com.
Mixed Messages - Pt 1
I love traveling with my family but it can be a hassle to get everything organized before we actually leave the house. We want to make sure we have an enjoyable time while we are away, so we put in extra work before we leave for our destination so we are fully prepared for any situation.
Check out my recent guest blog on TulsaKids.com to see more of my traveling tips.
2019 Is Off to a GREAT start!
I want the future man to be able to understand that there is more to sex then just getting girls and hooking up. I want them to understand that the idea of real love requires a way of living that is open and vulnerable. A lot of people don't talk about that right now. It's about Snapchat, Twitter, Tinder and "hooking up" websites. I want the future man to be able to read this and say, “What if I want to be in a relationship or if I wanted to date somebody? What would that look like?” These type of qualities are very attractive to the opposite person I'm trying to date versus being sneaky, reclusive, or withholding.
Reflections on 2018
I am absolutely stoked about 2019 and all of the amazing things I have planned.
I am thrilled to kick the year off with this incredible interview “Green Country All Grown Up: Jonathan Oliver” from Tulsa Kids. This publication is focused on building strong families by supporting parents with great advice and resources. You and I both know, families in America need all of the help and support they can get!
A Holiday Greeting
Rather than run from discomfort I chose to lean in and learn from it. So, I made an acronym for it:
L - Learn
E - Evaluate
A - Ask for Help
N - Never Give Up
Birthday Party Prep
want to encourage everyone as we go into this holiday season to share a little more love, a little more kindness, a little more compassion, a little more grace, a little more patience, a little more understanding knowing that for some of us this is a great time of the year, but depending where people are in the stages of their life this can be a really tough time of year.
The Pressure is Real
Being a stay at home dad I think about things in ways that I’ve never really thought about them when it comes to setting up my daughters up for success.
Talking with Justice
I cried this morning. It wasn’t very long maybe 15 seconds at the most. A lot of tears didn’t come just six or seven really heavy ones. It’s the best gift I could have given them myself. It was a much-needed relief.
Just having a conversation with my youngest daughter Justice about life.